What He Says... About Becoming an Adult

Do you remember when you knew you officially became an adult? Its different for everyone, from something as simple as the first time you hear yourself say, "kids these days" and think, oh my god, did I really just say that! To a major life-changing event. For me it was my early 20s, when I left home for the bright lights of Hollywood and realized a rock star wasn't really what I wanted to be. So I worked two jobs, went to school, and through a course of events, some good some bad, I became an adult. Of course, I still cling to my immaturity like a life preserver. *g* This week one of the guys posed the question in the form of an opening sentence: "I knew I was an adult when..."

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Stuart Wakefield:
I split up with my first partner, bought him out of the house, and found myself sitting all alone on the sofa thinking, “I’m responsible for all of this.” I’m still not sure I’ve recovered. I usually appear very confident and sure of myself, so much so that one of my boyfriends told me that I was cocky. It was at that point I realised he didn’t know me at all. I feel like a frightened little boy most of the time, but you’d never know to meet me.

Edmond Manning:
My father was dying of cancer, and I realized it was my job to hold our family together.

Damon Suede:
When I came to New York at 15 knowing no one, and had to find an apartment for myself to live in for six weeks while I was doing a residency at a fancy-pants Broadway theatre. I brought way too much luggage and I remember buying groceries the first night, record winter outside when I’d barely ever seen snow, and I thought, “I’m braver than anybody I know.” Which was saying something. But I wanted to move to NYC and I decided it was fucking well-time I did something about it before I graduated and my life hit me like a semi. Within three days I had a circle of new friends and a plan of action. After that, nothing was scary.

D.H. Starr:
I think mine was when I wasn’t rehired after my first year of work. I was teaching in a private school as a replacement teacher for a staff member out for the year on leave. It was a school where every class was a co-teaching room (two fully certified teachers per room), and I don’t play well with others when it comes to teaching a group of kids. The co-teaching relationship didn’t work and administration told me they would help me find a different job, but I wasn’t a good fit for them. I managed to keep my 24-year-old hot head cool and accepted the situation, but respectfully let the headmaster know how and why I thought he was being unfair.

Once I got home, I was telling my parents about the interaction and I exaggerated the things I said. My mom was like, “Oh, Doug, you didn’t say that did you?” I said, “No, what I actually said was...” and her expression immediately shifted and she was like, “Oh. Well, that’s very good.” I told her three different things I said, each one exaggerated and each time her expression of horror disappearing once I told her my actual words. At the end, she said, “I’m impressed. You stood up for yourself without losing your cool. That’s a sign of maturity.” For me, showing signs of maturity at 24 was a big step up.

Thorny Sterling:
I read these other answers and I’m not sure when or even if yet. Never lived on my own, married the first guy I dated... I think the bravest thing I’ve ever done was come out to my dad. Sometimes I feel like a grown up, my husband’s equal, and sometimes I still feel like I’ve got so much to learn.

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How about you? What or when was the defining moment in your life when you realized you were an adult?

Thursday, July 19th the guys are back with a deeper topic: Safety nets for LGBT kids.

And don't forget, if you have any topics, questions or photos you'd like the guys to tackle, just shoot them my way. We'll make sure you get the credit.

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