What I don’t understand is that women cross-dress all the time and no one bats an eyelash, but if a man puts on a skirt all hell breaks loose (unless he’s entertaining the breeders). I never really understood why the Jehovah’s Witnesses (with whom I had a book study with as a kid until I was 14) objected to women wearing trousers, but now the pieces are falling into place... Oh, and I dressed as Wonder Woman once and went to the petrol station for camera film. I didn’t dress up as her in order to go out, but I was the only one still sober at the party and it really needed documenting. ;)
Not for me, thanks. I wouldn’t have the balls to be caught dead in a dress. But if that’s what another person gets into, more power to him or her. I admire the bravery.
If I were placed in an ordinary social situation with a dude in a dress and mascara, I believe I’d be uncomfortable — for few minutes. Then I’d deal with it and stop noticing, and do my best to treat the other person with the same dignity as anyone else. Dealing with it and treating others the way you want to be treated is just what adults do.
It disgusts me that cross-dressers and transpeople are used as such reliable boogeymen for that segment of our society, especially in politics, that professes to know what’s right for everyone else; but what they’re really all about is encouraging grownups to behave like frightened children.
I’m still defining what this means to me. Sometimes wearing lingerie and makeup is like any other sex toy I’ve got. Sometimes it’s a secret I like knowing no one knows about but me. It’s a sexy feeling when I’m alone and get “that look” from my husband when he sees me dressed up, or even when he realizes there’s something silky or lacy just underneath. It used to be the thing that made me feel like an even bigger freak, and it scared the hell out of me to tell my husband anything about it. Now I know I’m loved with or without it and it’s mine and ours and special. Kinky ;) but special.
Waaaay back in college, some of us men on the same dorm floor dressed up as women. I wore a purple sweater dress and pearls. Even at the tender age of 20, I looked like Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie, but less attractive. I admire those who feel called to express themselves that way, but I don’t think it’s for me. (Going as Snow White for Halloween last year doesn’t count, right? Those black high heels fucking sucked.)
I was a song-n-dancer a zillion years ago and did drag a couple times. I passed even because I was long, lean, and leggy (a size 2! LOL) and my face boyish enough to take the paint well. It didn’t do anything for me sexually or socially, but there is a difference in the way folks perceive you when you visually code yourself as female...a weird combination of arousal, deference, and aggression. There’s a power in the costume. Every time, I remember thinking that I understood WHY women went through all this hellish prep with depilation and makeup and byzantine clothing, because there’s a fetishy pleasure in any transformation. But if I had a choice, I’d rather dress up as a satyr or a toothbrush or a doodlebug: no less artificial, no less complicated, and way less restrictive. Dunno. I think any hierarchical role-play generates friction and friction produces power, but I think I have more of a genderfuck impulse than a a real interest in cross-dressing.
My first boyfriend was a cross-dresser and was moderately attractive as a woman, but at home he dressed like a man. It’s an art form to be able to transform oneself and to take on a persona and look that is, to use Damon’s awesome term, “coding” oneself in a different way. That said, I haven’t delved deep enough into the subculture of cross-dressing to really understand it or to have an opinion about it. But I do love to party with men dressed in drag or who are cross-dressers. They tend to be far more interesting and authentic right from the beginning of conversations...once you get past the persona that is.
Now its your turn to share. What do you think about cross-dressing?
Drop by on February 2nd, when the guys share their thoughts on... Condoms.
And don't forget, if you have any topics, questions or photos you'd like the guys to tackle, just shoot them my way. We'll make sure you get the credit.